Why I chose to work with a life coach.
Last week, I wrote about following your intuition and listening to your gut.
I often write a lot about health and how important it is to keep your body healthy as well as your mind.
Whenever I’m stressed or in the process of making a decision or going through a transition in my life – whether this is in my career, my love life, moving etc. I always talk to someone. I call my friends, my family. I complain, think out loud, listen to their opinions. It helps me to process and make an informed decision. For me, talking things out helps clear my mind and allows me to make the best decision possible.
I met Jessica when I was in my direct sales job, about 7 years ago. She’s the type of person that is magnetic. She is incredibly beautiful inside and out and was always someone who inspired me to be the best version of myself. For a while, she was also my competition. On the sales list, our names were often very close to each other, hers often ahead of mine by just a few sales. We became acquaintances and connected over social media and at various conferences and events over the years. I followed her journey into social work as she went on to get her masters and even did a 365 days of happiness challenge. During a few previous transitions, she had been someone that I called when I felt inspired or when I felt like things were about to change for me.
So 4 months ago, I found myself among another transition in my life. I was in a job that I hated and overall just really unhappy with where my life was. I felt stuck and I knew I needed help. So I called Jess for a bit of inspiration. She said something along the lines of “I feel like you always call me when you’re already in the thick of things. I’d love to be able to help you and give you the tools so you don’t get so stuck in the future.”
I thought about it for a few minutes, it was a financial investment, after all. But I realized that I needed help and as someone who not only knows what she’s doing personally, but professionally as well, Jess was more than qualified. We go to the doctor when we’re sick or need help with a medication. And we go to a personal trainer when we need help with our physical body. A life coach is someone helps people to thrive in one or more areas of their life and I knew that Jessica was more than qualified to help me thrive in my career. I went with my gut on this decision and said yes.
Therapy is often clinical. A therapist typically has their masters or doctorate and often has a specialty or specific area of study.
Someone who benefits more from therapy: someone who has a history of mental health problems or their ability to function is impacted. Someone who is in the early stages of change. Usually a therapist will meet with a client weekly or bi-weekly and most often, what is going to happen in these sessions will be evidence based. Therapy is sometimes covered by insurance where coaching is almost always out of pocket.
Someone who might benefit from coaching: individuals who are functioning successfully – they’re looking to thrive, and they have clarity on their needs and desires. Coaching can vary from person to person because it’s not as regulated as therapy. Typically, coaches aren’t specifically trained and technically anyone can be a coach, but the beauty is that a coach is often someone who has “been there and done that” and can help their client achieve their goals. For me, what I needed was more clarity and I needed someone to hold me accountable to my goals and help get me “unstuck.” I also liked the idea of less regulation, that meant more freedom and flexibility. In my case, my coach was also a licensed therapist, so it wasn’t unusual for her to use her therapy techniques to help me.
We had weekly calls and each week she would give me an assignment. I loved these because it kept me on track for my goals. The accountability was real – I was paying for this service; I might as well get the most of it.
What I learned
- The power of making a decision. I had experienced this before and I knew how powerful the act of deciding is, but it always bears reminding. Once you decide you want something, the universe conspires to help you get that. With Jess’s help, I was able to make a decision – in 3 months, I will not be at this current job. Jess helped me with the fear around that decision (it was a big decision after all) she helped me realize that financially, I’d be fine AND that my self – worth is not tied to a certain job or title or what “success” looks like.
- Stay in my lane! This topic came up over and over in our calls. Before coaching with Jess, I would often get caught up in what others were doing. I thought about starting this blog for YEARS but never did because I worried it wouldn’t be as good as someone else’s. Or it wouldn’t be worth my time because I don’t have enough Instagram followers, and one friend said it took her three years to actually make money from blogging. But Jess reminded me, over and over, that what someone else is doing is just what they are doing. I have good content I want to share with the world. And I love writing, so why not just do it? Focus on what you are doing, turn off the noise around you about what everyone else is doing or saying and focus on YOUR goals.
- You’re never going to feel ready, but if you’re acting in alignment with something that brings you joy, makes you money or helps you in some way, there’s no wrong way to do it. When you’re making a decision in a flow state instead of panic, the results are better, you’ve prepared for anything that might come your way – like a global pandemic. Also, if you’re acting in alignment, the leap to make a big decision will less like a jump and more like a step on the right path.
Of course, we covered so much more and I filled notebooks during our sessions together, but the biggest take away was a realization – I have everything I need to be successful, on my terms, in my life, and success doesn’t have to look like a list with every box checked. For me, that was so powerful and I’m so glad that Jess helped me to realize that. The tools that I acquired with Jess helped me to overcome so many obstacles in the last 4 weeks especially. I now catch myself when I realize I’ve been thinking unkindly about myself or my goals or when I’m “shoulding” all over myself ( I should have a better job by now, I should have a boyfriend etc). I know to tune in and ask myself “is that thought true or is It coming from fear”? I know to appreciate what I have and be grateful for what I worked for ( I earned this, I did the work after making a decision too). And I know, with full certainty, not tepidly or with hesitation, that I am enough.
Erin A Clark 