I Marched

I may not understand, but I stand. 

I am a white woman (yes, another white woman sharing her opinion).  I have never been treated unfairly because of the color of my skin. I have never been wrongfully accused or yelled at because of the color of my skin.  There are so many things I haven’t experienced because of the color of my skin. There are so many things I get to experience because of the color of my skin.  I only now understand my privilege.  I understand that it is a privilege for me to say “this is too much” and simply turn off my phone.  It is a privilege for me to ask my exhausted and grieving black friends to educate me, to tell me if I’m wrong. That’s not their job.  I’m well educated. I can look back on my country’s history and see that for most of our history, black lives haven’t mattered. I have technology, I can use google to read up on recent events. 

There are many things I care about. Many causes that upset me. Sometimes the things I read about/ see upset me and I act.  I stopped using plastic when I saw that our oceans were filled with bags and bottles.  I wrote to my senator when her vote could have prevented a certain beer- loving judge from being sworn into office, for example.

But when it comes to this movement, I have been embarrassingly silent. Sure I would share a video occasionally, use appropriate hashtags. I’d comment on someone else’s post, but I’d never instigate.  I feared backlash and comments from my white friends (“but all lives matter”.  Yes, they do. But if you’re saying that in response to another innocent black person, maybe think before you speak).  I feared comments from my black friends (“she’s just a basic white girl from Maine, what does she know about this?”) I feared that my friends who are cops would think that I don’t appreciate or respect cops (I do. And I appreciate the many times cops have helped me).  And I feared that my mom would be worried if I went to a protest. 

Enough is enough. It’s time to do something. I’m sick of inaction. I’m especially fed up by businesses/ influencers/ friends who have a platform and have said NOTHING.  So today, despite my usual fear of crowds.  Despite my fear of covid-19. Despite never having participated in a protest (and my initial fear around this and seeing peaceful demonstrations turn to riots elsewhere).  I marched. 

We marched. Lewiston/ Auburn showed up today.  We marched peacefully and we grew in numbers as we went.  We were met with some negativity (a few people yelled at us from their cars or flipped us off.  One truck yielding flags of “trump 2020” and “Don’t tread on me” continued to honk and drive by our group), but over all, the support was positive. People driving cars had their fists up in solidarity and honked as we cheered. 

Sometimes I was in the back of the crowd. Sometimes I was right at the front, leading the chants.  I marched with people I knew and people I had never met (including this three year old boy who introduced himself to me as Peter Parker). 

I know there’s more to do. I know there’s more that I have to do. But today I did something. My new friend said to me “You’ve got a loud voice for a little girl.” Yes, I do.  And I’m finally using it.