My last post was about the first Black lives matter march that I attended.
It was easy to write because it was right after the event and I was fired up. It has now been three weeks of marching, protesting, educating myself and sharing what I’ve been learning about this movement.
First, I want to address while I’m still doing this. It’s important. I feel like we are really at a turning point in our society and I want to be able to look back and say “2020 was the year I did something.” A quote that continues to ring in my ears over the last few weeks “If you do nothing in situations of violence, you are choosing the side of the oppressor.” White silence is violence. Also, in learning about the struggle that some of my black friends have faced, even small things that I would have never considered, I feel a sense of white guilt. I am privileged because I am learning about racism, rather than experiencing it myself. I am privileged because I am able to turn off my phone when something is “too much” for me. It is time for me to use that privilege for good.
I’ve always been a passionate person. I get fired up about a lot of causes – the environment, women’s rights, equality for my gay and transgender friends, animal rights. Those are all still important to me. But this cause, this movement, is important right now. And it will continue to be important. I feel like things are really starting to change. We are on the precipice of a revolution. This is not just something that is trending on social media. Police reform is happening, justice is occurring where it hadn’t before. This is something I want to be apart of. I’m just sorry it took me so long. I’m outraged by the death of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. Why wasn’t I outraged when Atatiana Jefferson was killed or when Philando Castille jr. was murdered? I simply wasn’t paying attention. I’m now aware that racism isn’t just people flying the confederate flag or using the N word. I’m now aware that racism comes in many forms and there are many layers of this monster. Sometimes it’s disguised as companies claiming to be diverse but not including their token black employee in the conversations. Sometimes it’s disguised as someone saying “black on black crime” statistics but not saying anything when another white man shoots up a church of mostly black parishioners. Sometimes it’s disguised as a facebook post saying “all lives matter” in response to a Black Lives matter post, or worse “blue lives matter.” Yes, police officers enter a dangerous job and I have respect for law enforcement, but a cop can choose his/ her career. A black person can not change the color of their skin.
Again, I’m white. I will never truly understand what it means to be black in this country. But just as I have gay and transgender friends I will fight for, even though I’m straight, I have black friends and family members I will continue to fight for. I will now speak up when I see racism in any form. I will now, proudly say “Black Lives Matter.” Because I’d rather offend my white friends than have to burry my black friends.
Over the last 3 weeks I’ve been educating myself. Watching documentaries like “the 13th” and “When They See Us” and “Just Mercy” has opened my eyes to the racism within our justice system. I’ve been listening to stories of my friends on social media, learning about social biases and white privilege. I’ve been reflecting on my own personal biases and what I can do to change them moving forward. For example, I once went to a pizza place in downtown Nashua with a black man I was dating at the time. We were in line and ahead of us were 4 police officers, just ordering their food, waiting in line. My friend was suddenly nervous and visibly anxious. I noticed this but didn’t stop to consider why. I urged him along, not stopping to consider why he was suddenly nervous – it was because he was a black man, walking into a shop with a white woman and there were cops there. I only now reflect on this moment and am embarrassed by my naivete. I never had to have my guard up when going into a store, wondering if someone would judge me because of the color of my skin. I never feared for my life when getting pulled over by the police. That is one small example of my reflection in recent weeks. Reflection is important because now, if I’m in a similar situation in the future, I will be aware and more considerate.
What I’ve learned: racism is still very real. Police departments need to be defunded – at least some of the funds that go towards law enforcement should be spent elsewhere- schools, mental health institutions etc. And the officers that commit crimes should be held accountable. This is my fight too.
Again, I find myself asking “why didn’t anyone teach us this?!” But of course, a middle school and high school in a predominately white New Hampshire town isn’t going to teach about race. We received the sugar coated version of slavery and the civil war, Jim crow and the civil rights. Slavery was bad, a war was fought, Lincoln signed the emancipation proclamation, slaves were free but discriminated against, MLK marched and protested peacefully. Of course, my teachers, no matter how well- intentioned, weren’t going to go into the details and horrors of slavery, segregation, mass incarceration etc. Of course, they weren’t going to teach us about Seneca valley in New York being demolished by white people or the massacre on black wall street. Of course, they couldn’t go into detail about the trail of tears and other horrors administered to the Native American people that were here first. Of course, none of this was taught, we were too busy taking standardized tests and writing essays on “Pride and Prejudice.” Interestingly, I know more about 19th century British Literature than I do the American Political system. Now, I see racism (our president repeatedly calling Covid-19 the “kung flu” and calling white supremacists “good people” and Black Protestors “Thugs” or my own facebook friends still flying the confederate flags) and am no longer surprised. I can no longer say “how can people still say things like that? It’s 2020!” Yes, it is 2020 and racism is still very much alive.
Again, it’s my fight too. I need to take what I’ve learned about racism and social injustices and use that knowledge moving forward. I need to speak up when I see racism, I need to use my voice and sign petitions to demand justice – for all. I know that there’s a lot that needs to be done, but I’m committing to doing the anti-racist work that is necessary for everyone to live in peace.
Here are some other things you can do to continue to fight for Justice and be anti-racist:
Educate yourself: Watch documentaries (such as “the 13th” and “When they See Us” on netflix), Read (“I’m still here. Black dignity in a world made for whiteness” by Austin Channing Brown. “White Fragility: Why it’s so Hard for White people to talk about Racism” by Robin Diangelo” and “So you want to talk about race” by Ijeoma Oluo) and LISTEN. Listen to your black friends (don’t try to compare or contrast, just listen) when they share their experiences.
Call 502-696-5300 and demand that the officers who killed Breonna Taylor are arrested. Email or write to Attorney General Cameron (Office of the Attorney General
700 Capital Avenue, Suite 118
Frankfort, Kentucky 40601-3449) and demand the officers involved in the death of Breonna are arrested and that a special investigation be conducted into the Louisville Police department.
call 303-659-7720 and demand that the officers who killed Elijah McCain are arrested. Email or write to attorney General Weiser Office of the Attorney General
Colorado Department of Law
Ralph L. Carr Judicial Building
1300 Broadway, 10th Floor
Denver, CO 80203
Erin A Clark 