Last night, for the first time in over 10 years, I performed in a dance recital. Those are words I never thought I’d write. When I was a kid, I never thought I’d be done dancing. And as an adult who had stopped dancing, for quite some time, I wouldn’t anticipate that I’d be writing about a performance that I was in, with my sister! It was such a fun night, and I was reminded to keep doing what I love.
I’ve written before about getting back into dance after years of life and work and other things getting in the way and how this past summer, my sister told me about this dance studio and encouraged me to go to a class with her. I’d realized how much I missed ballet and being in a studio so I made dance a regular activity in my life.
Tuesdays at 4:45 have become the highlight of my week. For an hour and fifteen minutes myself and six others aged thirteen through eighty-something (yes, seriously older people can dance), women and one guy (yes, seriously. Men can dance) stretch our feet, practice plies and releves at the barre and dance across the room, perfecting the choreography. It’s such a beautiful, human experience, dancing. The collaboration you need, the physical strength, grace. It’s incredible to watch, and to experience fully what your body is capable of – keeping rhythm, moving as one but separately. jumping around, feeling lighter, taller – I wish everyone has something that makes them feel this good.
All week I have been looking forward to this show. At the last class on Tuesday, I felt ready and I practiced the dance in my kitchen while I made dinner each night. I bought a new leotard, I drank orange juice and tea so I wouldn’t be sick before the show. I was ready, but surprised at how nervous I was.
My sister and I drove over together, Sisters to the dance show! I’m glad we got there early, the pre-show buzz was all around. We were able to warm up and practice our dances with the music, which I was grateful for.
All of the dancers, little kids too, warmed up on stage while the audience was coming in, which I’d never done before. But it felt like part of the show. Then it was time to start. There was a little kid dance, then my ballet dance.
I was reminded how fun it is to dance on stage. The lights bright in your face, the fluttery feeling in your stomach. And the release and joy as you realise you’re doing it, this is what we practiced!
I did mess up on one section toward the end. Of course, this was one section I was showing one of the other dancers before the show. I turned the wrong way and later my sister told me that she only knew I messed up because she saw my face. But I don’t think anyone in the audience saw. I was really happy with how we all looked. I felt so proud at the end as we stood in a straight line and bowed to the applause.
And then it was done. The six months of practice, the planning, the performance, all done in 2 minutes and 40 seconds. I sat back stage with the rest of the dancers and wished I had more dances, wished I had to run and do a quick costume change and prepare to go on again. I was transported back to when I was a teenager, doing shows like this two or three times a year and having 7 or 8 dances each, barely having time to breathe or drink any water. This time, I caught my breath and drank plenty of water and just watched, out of the way, occasionally guiding the little dancers back to their seats. Most of the time though I was glad to just be out of the way and be an observer. I got to watch my sister twice. I thought she did phenomenal. Maybe she was more nervous than she led me to believe, and she said she messed up on a kick part, but I didn’t notice. The jazz dance she was in was one of my favorites of the show. Later, we were talking about how the choreography was swoopy and kind of easy to fix if you messed up, probably intentional. We both have the stage smile, bright and thankful. And everyone did a great job, truly. The little dancers shined even though their music stopped. It really was a job well done.
After all the dances, we all went back on stage for the bow dance. This was chaotic and fun, a great way to end the show.The dance teacher thanked everyone for coming and mentioned this was the first in-person show in three years. I knew this, of course there were no dance recitals during the pandemic, but I realized I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t performed in quite some time. I was reminded, again, of just how much we need things like this; performances, shows, watching someone share months of their work, their art with an audience, it’s good for the soul. And showing people something you’ve been practicing, sharing your hard work, your tuesday night rehearsals, I’m still riding the after-show high. The familiar feeling of accomplishment, showing off something you’ve worked hard on and sharing that with someone you love? Knowing that you put on a good show, even if you mesed up a little but you tried and put yourself out there? These are the beautiful experiences.
Erin A Clark 