I think it’s safe to say that over the last few years, especially, I’ve expereinced a lot of challenging situations. I’ve developed the outlook that no matter what I go through, I will be ok. I know that I will be ok. Some of this has developed over years and years of practice and some of it is from my own personal experiences, learning that I can pull myself up. Sometimes it’s easier to tell myself that than believe it and of course, it doesn’t often help to tell someone that. When someone is experiencing a hardship, a job loss, break up, divorce, grief etc. they don’t always need to hear “well it all happens for a reason” or “God has a plan” or ” you will be ok”. I know when I’ve been at absolute low points, and people said that to me, I’d often respond with a snide “Gee…. thanks” because a punch in the face or scream “WHEN does it start feeling ok?!?” wouldn’t have been appropriate. And of course, now I’ve matured more and know that they really were just trying to help. Trying to comfort and console me, the best way they knew how. And some words were helpful. But eventually, it was up to me to start changing my thoughts and actions to lift myself up. I had to change a lot of my mindset, but eventually I got to the point of asking “what can I learn from this?” instead of “why does this keep happening?” or some version of that negative, derogitory thought chain. I’ve made the grave mistake of allowing myself to wallow for too long and follow that chain of thought, jump aboard the train of negative self talk and “shoulding” all over myself. And I’ve been very careful never to say “well, it can’t get any worse” because I’ve learned how powerful those words are. Looking back it’s almost funny. Every time I said that, I was cosimically rewarded with more of whatever couldn’t be worse. Our words, our thoughts, are Powerful! I’ve written about this before but it’s worth repeating. Your thoughts become your words, you words become your actions, your actions are what change your life! I’ve been able to overcome very challenging situations with my thoughts, words, and actions by rephrasing the question I’m asking. “What is this teaching me?” instead of “why does this happen to me?” “How can I?” instead of “I could never do that, have that etc.” But how did I do this?
Maybe you’ve been following along long enough to know what struggles I’m speaking of specifically. Maybe, not. Maybe you’re asking, ok, I get it. Your words are powerful, I need to speak kindly to myself, I need to stop being so hard on myself. And maybe you’ve applied other techniques like journaling and inner child healing and have found for yourself that this is true. You start giving yourself more grace, forgiving past versions of you who made mistakes, but you’re still stuck. You’re still in that terrible job or that bad relationship, you’re not manifesting the money you want. And you’re feeling frustrated. Why isn’t this here??! I’ve done all this work, I say my affirmations in the morning but I’m still not where I want to be! First, I will say that where you need to be is exactly where you are. Second, if you’re in that energy of frustration or desperation, that is what your response will be – more frustration, more desperation. When you are in the mindset of abundance, opportunity, love, that’s what you receive more of but I can go a bit more in depth to energy work later. Third, There is no rush, you are doing everything with perfect timing. And finally, it’s not totally your fault. It’s your brain’s.
This isn’t the blame game or an excuse for you to not go after your goals and the things you truly want. But, your brain’s job is to keep you safe. This is why we have our fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses. Because our brain doesn’t know the difference between a real saber tooth tiger behind us, or leaving a job when we don’t have another source of income lined up. The fear, the unknown, the anxiety, is very real because our brain is not making that distinction. It really thinks that this unknown is going to cause us harm. And it’s easy to listen to the brain when it’s perfectly logical. It does a great job of convincing us it is right and we should stay exactly where we are, even if we’re broke, even if we’re miserable, it is familar so our brain is protecting us from that unfamiliar feeling that is in every way just as scary as a siber tooth tiger. It’s easy to stay on that negative-self talk/ thought train because it’s very convenient. We don’t have to think, we just show up and let this train bring us down the rabbit hole, and once we are on, it is very very hard to get off. It’s nearly impossible to pull the cord to exit, incredibly easy to miss your stop and keep going. Because your brain is always looking for proof of what you’re telling it. If you say “I’m lazy and never get anything done” your brain will play a memory on the intercom from last week when you watched netflix for 30 hours straight and smoked too much weed. Yes, you’re right. Next stop self-sabatoge! Your brain is hardwired to keep you on this train, because, even though you want to get off, you want to be more positive and stop complaining about your job, you don’t want to be broke anymore, even though it knows these thoughts creeping in are self-depricating and holding you back, IT IS SAFE. It is familar. You’re on the thought train for safety, not enjoyment. And some people live their whole lives on the train, even if it’s boring, uncomfortable, it’s all they know. They stay on the comuter rail, go to work, maybe get a 1% raise, maybe have two weeks off every year, pay bills each month and they are miserable, but they don’t know that they can exit the negative manifiestation train at any point.
Once you learn that you are in charge, your whole life will change. It is difficult, of course, to step off the train, to be brave enough to say “nope, I’m not going down this track any more” this is where I get off to actually live in alignment, that’s when your thoughts change, which change your words, which change your actions, which change your life. Not only are you the conductor, you’re the whole train in this analogy. You can change the directions, you control the music playing, who’s sitting with you, you can even lay down new tracks and decide “I want to go this way instead.”
And what’s really incredible about this is that your brain responds. The more you start speaking positively, thinking positively, your brain is still searching for that evidence to validate what you’re telling it. So instead of saying “omg I’m so lazy” or “I’ll never be able to build my own business” you say “I am an inspiration to others! and How can I build my own business and be successful?” your brain will find evidence of that. You’ll remember that time you were brave and you were an inspiration when you gave that speech at your girlscout meeting all those years ago, or maybe that’s when you meet someone who joins your train ride of growth, abundance, maybe they can help you with your buisness. But you’re in charge. If you find yourself going down the familiar path, because of course doubt and resistence will creep in, that’s ok. But the sooner you remember why you wanted to leave the old train in the first place, you’ll be reminded that you are in charge, you can think thoughts of abundance and joy and ease and see that be directly reflected in your own life. So I’m calling now, “all aboard!” expansion train, positive thought train is leaving the station now, we are leaving old thought patterns and doubt behind!
Erin A Clark 